she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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