Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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