3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
