your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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