Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
