You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I look better un-naked...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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