Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
