I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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