Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
