If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
