the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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