she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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