i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
