i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
