how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
