Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
