we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
