i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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