If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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