How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
