We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
