brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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