I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
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