Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am one with the molecules
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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