I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
