You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
