No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
