you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
