Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
