there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
