Already got asked if we're dating
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
