Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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