I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
