Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
