Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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