Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
