They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I supernannyed him into submission
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
