Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
