I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize