She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
