you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
