I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
