I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
