im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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