All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You dont lie about slip and slides
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Still dying that you shit outside
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
