The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
