wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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