we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
