he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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