if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
