We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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