well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
