we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
