Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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I said "one day" and that day is not today
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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