3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
