I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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