I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
