Where did you get a picture of my penis
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
