bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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