I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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